Minimalism and Letting Go of Shitty Relations.

“If people refuse to look at you in a new light and they can only see you for what you were, only see you for the mistakes you’ve made, if they don’t realize that you are not your mistakes, then they have to go.” 
― Steve Maraboli

A new year is here. A new beginning, a new sun. But over the years, I have realized that more than wishing for new things, pretty things to happen to you in the coming year, it is more about letting go of the crappy things of this year.

How will new things fill your cup until it is not empty?

I must admit. I have been run over by people. By people from all walks and kind. People who mattered the most as well as by people who didn’t. By people who were close and by people I thought were close. All of them.

And I started cursing them. Getting depressed. Thinking why me and feeling pity for self. Doing things to gain sympathy . Doing things for people so that they accept me. Doing things for people just so they give me their attention. It was almost like begging. No, it was exactly like begging. For love, attention and care. Sounds harsh but that is the cold truth.

Today those people don’t matter. Hell, many of them aren’t even in contact. And they don’t occupy even tinge of space of mind. Why did I clinked to them then? Because, I couldn’t let go. Letting go.

It’s not like I didn’t know, how such relations are affecting me. How I am injuring my conscience and how am I disrupting my peace. But I gave into the temptation. The need of attention, love and care.

I don’t regret it though. That period of my life was one of the most difficult one but also from which I learnt the most.

People are important. No doubt in that. But just ask yourself why did you build the relation? That trust, the bond, the love and the care? Was it for someone else? No, it was for you. So that you could be happy. So that you could feel the bliss of having people you can call your own.

The relation you build is for you. So that you feel happy. So that you experience love. So that you can laugh, smile and be yourself. So that you have someone to share things with. For you. Not for the other person.

Ask yourself. What remains the point of relation where you feel unwanted? A relation which does nothing else apart from reminding you of your flaws and making fun of you.A relation which does nothing else apart from pointing out to your mistakes over and over again. A relation because of which your peace of mind is lost and you feel miserable.  A relation which doesn’t have happiness but desperation as the base. What is the point of such a relation?

Attempt to fix the relations. Attempt it once, attempt it maybe twice. But not thrice. Then you must let go.

What do you fear? Why can’t you let go?

Do you fear being alone?

You’re never alone. Never. Look around and you’ll find that there are people genuinely love you, genuinely care for you and genuinely want to be with you.  Be with them. Love them. Care for them. Why bother with people who don’t reciprocate same feeling as you do for them?

Do you fear being judged?

You have been judged. You are judged. You’ll be judged. That’s how, we have evolved as a society. We make perceptions. Without knowing the stories behind. It will continue to happen. You cannot do much about it except on your individual level. It is not in your control. Let go of this emotion. Let go. Be yourself. And be with people who understand who you’re.

Do you fear people not liking you?

You cannot please everyone. The faster you accept it, the better. Some people will never like you. Regardless of whatever you do. They just don’t like you. Good for them. Why do you need their approval for who you’re anyways? Instead why don’t you focus on people who love you, care for you and want to be with you? Take a stand and maintain a distance from people who disrupt your peace. They might not like you still but they will surely respect you.

Do you fear solitude?

Always remember why you attach with people in first place- to feel happy, to feel content, to have someone for you, to have someone you can call yours. It is for you. What is the point of countless relations if you don’t connect to yourself? Having a deep, loving and compassionate relation with yourself is the best relation you’ll ever have. Hit me, if you found it to be not true.

It is OKAY to move on from all the shitty relations. It is fine. You owe yourself that much. You owe yourself happiness. You owe yourself freedom. You owe yourself love around. You owe yourself bliss. You owe yourself peace and serenity. You owe yourself a caring smile. You owe yourself a caring hug. You owe yourself more than anyone else. 

Let go all the shitty relations. Let go all the depression. Let go all the taunts. Let go of all the neediness. Let go of the tendency to gain sympathy. Let go of the actions to attract attention. You’re much more than that. You’re so much more than that. You can fly. You can touch skies. Don’t let yourself be caged.

Instead be with people you love. Be with people who love you. Be with them. Care for them. Love them. Share experiences with them. Remind them each day by words and actions that how they keep you happy. Add value to their life. Grow together. Laugh and smile with them. Share things with them. Do things to make them happy. Do happy things together. Dance. Sing. Live. Fly. Breathe.

Reflect and you’ll realize, far too much time we all have wasted by being in such relations. By feeling sorry. Pitying self. Feeling Depressed. Get out of it. It is a new year. A new beginning. And the perfect time to let go of shitty relations.

Just fucking move on, will you?

Happy New years, folks!

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Minimalism and Change- A year in Review.

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” 
― Leo Tolstoy

My, my. What a year it has been. 

Ups and downs. Happiness and pain. Sadness. Depression too at some stages. Complete ecstasy too at many a times. Opportunities and tough decisions. Glory, applause and downfall. Everything- a show worth witnessing. A drama worth reading.

But more than anything else, this year was about one thing- Change.

Complete and jaw-dropping change. Challenging the conventional sort of change. Inspiring and mesmerizing change. And some not-needed, depressive kind of change.

But the theme of change was constant and repetitive throughout.

And I loved every bit of it.

I crave change. That’s how I stumbled upon the concept of Minimalism among many such other things. That’s why I volunteer in one of the biggest NGO in the world- Rotaract since past 4 years. That’s why, I opted out of the course I was doing when I realized this isn’t my cup of tea. That’s why I do all the things I do. I change.

To change. Everything and everywhere. But most importantly, to change myself. To rediscover myself at every possible step. To reinvent myself over and over. And, if at all I can, to help others doing the same. Reinventing and rediscovering.

As a society, we have been led to believe that change is bad. Change is terrible. Constant and monotonous is good for life. Being safe. Being safe with work. Being safe with life. Being safe. Just being safe. You should work, eat and sleep. And repeat. Till death.

Some changes in life might not be good at first but at hindsight everything connects. Everything. We grow only when we change. We become better only when we change.

Now, people might say how does it connect to minimalism? Oh, but it does and that too in a beautiful manner.

One of the key aspect of Minimalism for me is to discover the path to freedom. To discover freedom. To discover happiness. And happiness is a curious concept. And that can happen only when I experiment around. Only when I get out of the comfort zone. Only when I grow. And, that’s exactly how Minimalism helps me as a tool. A tool to change things around me. A tool to hack things around. A tool to tweak things around. Things that makes me better. Concepts that make me grow. Everyday. Failures from which I learn.

It is beautiful. Everyday I learn something about myself. Each day I come across a flaw I possess. I smile more. I laugh more. I even think more. I am more compassionate and kind towards my people, towards people around me and towards surrounding in general.That is due to constant change and questioning that this concept brings in, pitches in. And I am happy.

This year was all about change. Next year too will be about same. And the year next to that.

The only difference is that this year, there was no Minimalism as a tool available to me till late. Yet I was constantly changing. But next year, I will have that tool. And I am really excited about it. Each day will be sheer brilliance. Each day will be of change. Each day, a part of me will grow.

People nowadays ask me what is the one thing you love the most about this concept. I reply almost instantly that this concept makes me think consciously about my choices. And once we start doing that, we choose some and we discard some. And, in the process, we change. You see how it all connects? Isn’t it dead gorgeous?

Look away from your smartphone screen and see around. There is much to give, there is so much to take. There is so much to appreciate and there is so much to change. In you and around.

So this new years take only one but a solid resolution. To change.

Do something you fear. Go out of that comfort zone. Do something stupid. Make mistakes. Fail. Learn from failing. Know your flaws. Work on your flaws. Be with your friends. Tell someone how they inspire you. Tell someone that you love them just because of who they’re.  Help someone. Go out of your way and help someone. Donate. Make someone smile. Do something for someone anonymously. Simplify your life. Smile more. Laugh more. Listen more. Be compassionate. Be kind. Read. Write. Love. Grow. Live. Breathe.

Do comment on what do you feel about change.

Happy holidays, folks!

Minimalism and Clothing- less but best.

I was discussing about Minimalism with my friend recently. And I was explaining him how I plan to practice minimalism and become a minimalist. The question he asked me after “What the hell is this?” and “Do you need me to lend you some money?”  was, “Is there a particular clothing style for it?”

Now, considering that we Indians are obsessed with having fancy wardrobes and different clothes for every occasion, there ever is and ever will be. That was a question in waiting. My mother also asked me if this Minimalism is some kind of festival and if it will require “different” wardrobe.

I donated dozens of clothes recently. Now, my wardrobe only has what I love wearing. I got to see that lovely smiles on the face of those kids and I also got to de-own and now everything in my wardrobe is my favorite.

So what does a Minimalist wear- Simply what he loves, each and every day.

I avoid logos and brand tags for several reasons. Yet I do have some stuff with logos. I soon plan to eliminate them completely.

So after donating, I don’t have many clothes left. I have a minimal wardrobe. And despite the usual societal perception, having a minimal wardrobe is beautiful. I get to wear what I love everyday. I am incredibly comfortable and confident in what I wear.

Throughout the past few months, I have been experimenting with my wardrobe with an aim to find out my personal niche in clothing. What I will love the most and what will be my favorite. I have come to realization that I feel the most beautiful and confident when I am wearing a simple, plain kurta and a jeans.

I have no sentimental value to my clothes. And, I don’t need to take ample time to decide what to wear as everything in my wardrobe is my favorite. And I feel amazingly comfortable and confident in each one of them. Isn’t that the whole point of clothing?

Somehow societal perceptions has convinced us that more clothes means more happiness, more popularity and more worth. But is it that way?

Do we need clothes to know our worth?

Think about it.

Who do we need clothing for? To make us feel better and confident or the society?

Think about it.

Is it fine that often we’re judged more on our clothing than our self worth?

Think about it.

Ask yourself next time, you’re buying new clothes of some brand. Whom are you buying it for? Yourself or society? You’ll realize more often than not the answer is the latter.

Again, it is a matter of choice. That is why, I love this concept. All it helps you doing is to consciously think about the choices you make. I did think and I realized the mesmerizing effect of owning less. But living more. And living with nothing but the best.

Impress with your character. Not your clothes. Not what you wear but who you’re.

Simplify. Buy less. Own less.De-clutter your clothes. Give them away. Donate. Trash. Avoid sales. Avoid Discounts. Difference between needs and wants. Avoid logos. Live with less. But live with best.