“If people refuse to look at you in a new light and they can only see you for what you were, only see you for the mistakes you’ve made, if they don’t realize that you are not your mistakes, then they have to go.”
― Steve Maraboli
A new year is here. A new beginning, a new sun. But over the years, I have realized that more than wishing for new things, pretty things to happen to you in the coming year, it is more about letting go of the crappy things of this year.
How will new things fill your cup until it is not empty?
I must admit. I have been run over by people. By people from all walks and kind. People who mattered the most as well as by people who didn’t. By people who were close and by people I thought were close. All of them.
And I started cursing them. Getting depressed. Thinking why me and feeling pity for self. Doing things to gain sympathy . Doing things for people so that they accept me. Doing things for people just so they give me their attention. It was almost like begging. No, it was exactly like begging. For love, attention and care. Sounds harsh but that is the cold truth.
Today those people don’t matter. Hell, many of them aren’t even in contact. And they don’t occupy even tinge of space of mind. Why did I clinked to them then? Because, I couldn’t let go. Letting go.
It’s not like I didn’t know, how such relations are affecting me. How I am injuring my conscience and how am I disrupting my peace. But I gave into the temptation. The need of attention, love and care.
I don’t regret it though. That period of my life was one of the most difficult one but also from which I learnt the most.
People are important. No doubt in that. But just ask yourself why did you build the relation? That trust, the bond, the love and the care? Was it for someone else? No, it was for you. So that you could be happy. So that you could feel the bliss of having people you can call your own.
The relation you build is for you. So that you feel happy. So that you experience love. So that you can laugh, smile and be yourself. So that you have someone to share things with. For you. Not for the other person.
Ask yourself. What remains the point of relation where you feel unwanted? A relation which does nothing else apart from reminding you of your flaws and making fun of you.A relation which does nothing else apart from pointing out to your mistakes over and over again. A relation because of which your peace of mind is lost and you feel miserable. A relation which doesn’t have happiness but desperation as the base. What is the point of such a relation?
Attempt to fix the relations. Attempt it once, attempt it maybe twice. But not thrice. Then you must let go.
What do you fear? Why can’t you let go?
Do you fear being alone?
You’re never alone. Never. Look around and you’ll find that there are people genuinely love you, genuinely care for you and genuinely want to be with you. Be with them. Love them. Care for them. Why bother with people who don’t reciprocate same feeling as you do for them?
Do you fear being judged?
You have been judged. You are judged. You’ll be judged. That’s how, we have evolved as a society. We make perceptions. Without knowing the stories behind. It will continue to happen. You cannot do much about it except on your individual level. It is not in your control. Let go of this emotion. Let go. Be yourself. And be with people who understand who you’re.
Do you fear people not liking you?
You cannot please everyone. The faster you accept it, the better. Some people will never like you. Regardless of whatever you do. They just don’t like you. Good for them. Why do you need their approval for who you’re anyways? Instead why don’t you focus on people who love you, care for you and want to be with you? Take a stand and maintain a distance from people who disrupt your peace. They might not like you still but they will surely respect you.
Do you fear solitude?
Always remember why you attach with people in first place- to feel happy, to feel content, to have someone for you, to have someone you can call yours. It is for you. What is the point of countless relations if you don’t connect to yourself? Having a deep, loving and compassionate relation with yourself is the best relation you’ll ever have. Hit me, if you found it to be not true.
It is OKAY to move on from all the shitty relations. It is fine. You owe yourself that much. You owe yourself happiness. You owe yourself freedom. You owe yourself love around. You owe yourself bliss. You owe yourself peace and serenity. You owe yourself a caring smile. You owe yourself a caring hug. You owe yourself more than anyone else.
Let go all the shitty relations. Let go all the depression. Let go all the taunts. Let go of all the neediness. Let go of the tendency to gain sympathy. Let go of the actions to attract attention. You’re much more than that. You’re so much more than that. You can fly. You can touch skies. Don’t let yourself be caged.
Instead be with people you love. Be with people who love you. Be with them. Care for them. Love them. Share experiences with them. Remind them each day by words and actions that how they keep you happy. Add value to their life. Grow together. Laugh and smile with them. Share things with them. Do things to make them happy. Do happy things together. Dance. Sing. Live. Fly. Breathe.
Reflect and you’ll realize, far too much time we all have wasted by being in such relations. By feeling sorry. Pitying self. Feeling Depressed. Get out of it. It is a new year. A new beginning. And the perfect time to let go of shitty relations.
Just fucking move on, will you?
Happy New years, folks!