“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”
Are you your own Best Friend?
Have you ever asked yourself this?
If you’ve, do you behave with yourself as a best friend would?
Time to think.
I have been working in a Global Youth organization, Rotaract movement, since almost 4 years now. I have climbed the ladder of the organization from a volunteer to a team leader to management and to being the highest authority.
Fortunately, I have had the privilege to deal with different kinds of people. And at a young age like this, I have had the opportunity to help these people deal with their problems: personal problems, parental problems, relationship problems, depression. All sorts of problem.
I have been in depression myself. Major depression. Over so many issues, over the years. I remember being in depression for months straight.
I have found a fix pattern over the years, in their cases and mine, which is lack of compassion towards self.
Beating yourself up. Thinking you’re not good enough. Hating oneself. Causing harm to oneself. Thinking you’re not worth of any good in your life. All the negative traits resides in you: within you. Your life is no good. Why do you live? There is no point. You’ve no love in life. No one cares for you. No-one.
You know what, I am talking about. You know it. We’ll have been here. They might have laughed on you. Might have bullied you. Might have break your heart. Might have rejected you. Heck, might have beaten you up.
But what you do to yourself after that is worse. Much worse.
You think you deserve this?
Your best friend won’t.
He will sit beside you. He will remind you of all the good which is there within you. He will take care of you. He will make sure, you never feel alone. He’ll try to cheer you up. Make you laugh. Make you smile. Make you yourself.
He’ll possibly do anything to boost that low self-esteem of yours. He’ll remind you of your achievements. He will remind you of all the times, you’ve been a wonderful friend, a wonderful son, a wonderful father, a wonderful husband, a wonderful partner and above everything else: a kind and compassionate human being.
Why can’t you do that with yourself?
You know yourself better than any other person. You know things you’ve been through. You know exactly how much pain you felt and you know with how much difficulty and bravery, you came out of that thing. You know, you’re an amazing person.
Yes, you know your flaws as well. But doesn’t everyone have one? Does that mean that you will deprive yourself from the love of most important person in your life: you?
Think of all the time, you’ve beaten yourself up. Think of all the times, you were disappointed by yourself. Think of all the time, you’ve passed in deep depression. Think of all the time you’ve deprived yourself of self-compassion.
Was it worth it? Worth whatever the reason?
More importantly, would your best friend had done the same?
Don’t deprive yourself from self-compassion. How will you possibly show compassion and be kind to others, if you can’t be compassionate and kind to yourself?
It is OK to make a mistake. It is OK if your heart gets broken. It is OK if you were rejected. It is OK if your life is messed up as hell. It is OK.
A phase. That’s it. It will pass soon. But be there for yourself. Tell yourself everything will be OK. That everything will be fine. And no matter what, you are there for yourself. Be the ideal Best Friend for yourself. It might sound stupid to read. But think: what difference really such an attitude can make to you? A world of difference, perhaps.
Next time, when depression or a bad instance grips you. Behave with yourself how your best friend would behave with you. With compassion and kindness. With love and care. With empathy.
Not with self-hatred. Not with self-pity.
Be the best, best friend to yourself. Be.
The person you spend the most chunk of time is yourself.
Be kind to that person. Be compassionate towards that person.
Love that person.
If not for me, if not for this blog, if not for this site.
For the person reading this.
Trust me, that person deserves this.
That person deserves to be your best friend.
*This post was orinally published on Kindnessblog.com- http://kindnessblog.com/2014/01/24/are-you-your-own-best-friend/