“Admit it. You aren’t like them. You’re not even close. You may occasionally dress yourself up as one of them, watch the same mindless television shows as they do, maybe even eat the same fast food sometimes. But it seems that the more you try to fit in, the more you feel like an outsider, watching the “normal people” as they go about their automatic existences. For every time you say club passwords like “Have a nice day” and “Weather’s awful today, eh?”, you yearn inside to say forbidden things like “Tell me something that makes you cry” or “What do you think déjà vu is for?”. Face it, you even want to talk to that girl in the elevator. But what if that girl in the elevator, and the balding man who walks past your cubicle at work, are thinking the same thing? Who knows what you might learn from taking a chance on conversation with a stranger? Everyone carries a piece of the puzzle. Nobody comes into your life by mere coincidence. Trust your instincts. Do the unexpected. Find the others.”
I like to stroll at park in the night. Once the madness of the day is slowly turning into the calm and beautiful night. The surrealism and cold wind.
That time, I take my ear plugs and I go for a stroll in the nearby park.
Like most of the other jogger’s park, this one too has a round track to walk or run or just take a casual stroll. And in ALL the jogger’s park, people walk in either Anti-Clock direction or the clockwise direction. Usually the latter. But not both.
And other day, I was lost in my thoughts and music and I happened to walk from anti-clockwise instead of the regular clockwise.
I realized it instantly as people started to stare at me as I have done something really terrible.
And I got really uncomfortable. Because they were staring and looking at me like I am some kind of terrible rule breaker.
For that moment, I became conscious. I became vulnerable. Fear gripped me and I instantly changed my direction to the regular.
I came out and I thought about it: did I do something wrong? No, I didn’t.
I just probably liked the opposite way more than the regular way that day. I didn’t break traffic rules or something. Then what made me so uncomfortable? What made me so conscious?
It was the fear of being different.
Of walking on the opposite direction of people. Of getting stares from people. Of being talked about. Of breaking the conventions.
This was just a walk and an observation.
But I learnt from it.
Don’t we do that with our life as well in so many spheres?
We’re afraid to do what we love. Afraid to do what we like. Afraid to do what we truly want to do.
But we choose to ignore it. Because many people don’t do what we love. Or it isn’t a safe bet. Maybe, it is not right. They will judge you. They will question you. They will say you’re out-of-place. They will flaunt their definition of success and ask you to follow the same, regardless of whether you wish to or not.
And more often than not, we give away.
We trade our souls just to fit in the crowd. We try to do same things which the masses do, regardless of whether we want to do it or not truly.
We compare ourselves to others and we try to be like them, just because it seems society approves of them.
We do jobs which we think will be approved the society. We try to live a lifestyle which we think won’t be questioned. Or which will help us to fit in the crowd so that no-one questions. Or those stares. Or the fear of standing out.
Over the years, we as a society, have developed things that a person needs to do to ‘just fit’. And we follow that blindly.
Because we’re too afraid of the unconventional.
We’re too afraid of the idea of failure. We’re too afraid of being judged.
We’re too afraid of standing out.
We’re afraid. We are frightened.
So we decide to just exist. And not live.
Because that’s easy, right? You’ll be society approved. And everyone will see you as the perfect idol. And that probably will satiate your ego as well.
But ask yourself, “Is what you do or how you live is true to your own thoughts, ideals, values and wishes?”
If the answer is yes, you have my applauds.
If the answer is no, we have an issue.
Internet has mislead us in many ways. Assuming that to live an unconventional path is to probably roam all around the world. Or just to live with one back pack. Or to be freelance writer roaming around states. Or to live virtually. Or probably to open the next Fortune 500. Or to be a Minimalist.
It is not that. Not for me at least.
All I mean by unconventional is for you to stay true to who you’re.
All I mean is that you do what you love.
It can be a job. It can be just to stay with your family and take care of them. It can be being a teacher. But what makes you come alive. What keeps you happy. What keeps you yearning for life. What keeps you living. What keeps you dreaming. What keeps you curious.
What is self approved and not society approved.
What is self driven and not society driven.
When you live, truly live, and not just exist.
Why call it unconventional then?
Look around. No just look. There are people all around who are doing what they detest, for a lack of stronger words. They live by the ‘apparent’ code and conduct of the society. And they will come to you. And, they will tell you that this is how life works.
They do everything they do for the approval of the society and others. Not for themselves or because they like it but just because everyone is doing that. Or probably because that’s the ‘safe’ option. Or because their friends are doing. Or the whole fucking college is doing that (Insert: N.M. College and C.A.) It doesn’t matter.
The only thing that matters is that whether you want to do it. Whether you come alive by doing that. Whether you feel like living while doing it.
If you don’t. Change that.
You see your whole life is a Jogger’s park track. It is round. There are no rules of directions.
You can walk anti-clockwise. Nothing is wrong in that.
If that is what you want to do. Fucking do that.
There is nothing wrong in it. You’re not breaking any rules. You’re just doing what you love.
I can say some inspirational quote about life being too short and you having too less time and stuff over here.
But you get my point, don’t you?
Dare to un-belong.
If the path you love is seldom walked. It doesn’t matter. You’ll walk it.
If the path you love is opposite to what everyone else is doing. It doesn’t matter. You live for yourself. You deserve to do what you love. You deserve to come alive.
If everyone is saying you won’t make it and is forcing you to come to mediocrity. You can choose not to. Have belief in your path. In your dreams. In yourself.
Choose excellence. Always. Choose life. Always. Choose yourself. Always.
Almost the time for my stroll. In the park. This time, I choose to go anti-clockwise.
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