“There were two ways to be happy: improve your reality, or lower your expectations”
― Jodi Picoult
I haven’t written anything this past whole week.
I have reasons. But, as a person, who promotes choice it will be unfair to give them or even to believe that they are valid enough as reasons.
I didn’t write. Plain and simple.
The problem however lies where I expect myself to write.
The bigger problem is that people expect me to write. And that too in a certain way and context.
And, it did weigh me down to not be able ‘stand’ up to it.
For this post, I have a gentle request.
For the next 8 minutes or so, forget all about what you already know about expectations. Allow me to bring another face to it.
You might agree or disagree. That’s completely fine.
But try reading the post with the least preset ‘expectations’ about the word ‘expectation’ in particular.
Without even consciously thinking, this word has become one of the most dominant force in our lives.
We expect. A lot. From the life. From our world. From people around us. From ourselves. From Government. From organizations. From every single one and thing around.
Really. Think about it. Look around and try finding one thing or one person from which you don’t ‘expect’. It is a dare.
So what is wrong with that?
There is nothing wrong with it. We’re not thinking about what is wrong and what is right and so on and so forth.
We’re thinking about what impact does it create on your life.
We are thinking whether it amplifies or reduces your happiness level.
We’re thinking that.
I have had many fall outs with many people.
And part of the reason always has been that we both ‘expected’ certain things from each other that we would do or not do.
And, I let many people go. And, I now realize that, many beautiful and gorgeous soul go because somehow they didn’t meet my expectations.
Chances are you also have let many people go.
The question: Are they liable to stand on your expectations?
Bigger question: Did those expectations make you happy?
In a way yes, It is that old clichéd writing about expect less.
But there is a reason, it is clichéd. It has been used and told so many times that we don’t remember its importance anymore.
Refreshing the memory a bit.
Are you asking us to stop expecting from people? That sounds insane.
Well, no. I don’t ‘expect’ you to do that.
But let’s consider it for once and see.
What will the world look like if there are no expectations?
Your relations will be healthier because you have not created a standard. Things that should make you happy will make you happy. Things will surprise you. You’ll be always excited about the relation.
Your life will be so damn good. Imagine, you have no expectations from your life. Better, neither does anyone else. You’re free to do what you love. No one expects something out of you. And neither do you.
The world will be better place. There is no society expectations to shape you in a manner they find appropriate. Everyone can breathe. Live their individuality. And love like never before.
Sounds radical. I know. But sounds good. At least to me.
I do agree that many place to expect is necessary. It is genetic. And often serves as a base. But we misuse it. Abuse it. To the point where it hinders with our own being. Our own happiness.
Apply minimalism to expectations, that’s all I ask.
Replace the word ‘expectations’ with the word ‘quality’ wherever you can.
What does applying minimalism to expectations looks like?
Search for quality in life. Search for quality in relations. Search for quality in every single individual.
Don’t expect from life. From things. From relations. From people.
They are not liable to fulfill it. They don’t owe you anything.
Don’t let false expectations run your life. You’ll be unhappy.
Because you’ve created that egoistic expectation bubble around you. That bubble inside which you sit and think that people owe you something. That the world owes you something. That life owes you something.
Reality alert: It doesn’t.
That bubble will break eventually. Like every other bubble. And it will hurt, badly.
Let everyone breathe their individuality. Things that make them who they’re. Not things that you want them to do. Or not how you want them to be like.
How they’re. Accept it. Because life, world and people: they’re beautiful regardless of your expectations.
In those whole expectations, there is only one loser. That is us.
The one who expects.
It is difficult. Obviously. We have been molded into beings who expect. I am myself yet to let it go, completely.
But it works. Like charm.
With less expectations, life surprises you. People surprise you. The world surprise you.
Because you let them breathe.
You let them breathe their complexities.
You let them breathe their individuality.
You don’t ask them to be how you think they should be.
You let them be.
You accept and acknowledge the beauty in what and who they already are.
You don’t try to change them according to how you think they should be.
You see quality and beauty in what they already are. And how your relation already is.
And this feeling, this experience is gorgeous and mesmerizing.
Because you see everything in different light.
All you need is to try to lower your expectations and to replace the word expectations with QUALITY on all occasion.
Go now. And be awesome.
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