“How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn’t make it a leg.”
One of my biggest flaws has to be pretension.
Really. I am still working on it, really hard.
I have improved though. A lot, considering how I was few months back.
I do admit that I was in a race to impress. And that was probably just because I wanted to look ‘cool’
I wanted a cool hairstyle and cool clothes and cool gadgets and you know just be cool.
I wanted to be the person who has most friends on Facebook with maximum likes on his DP and retweets and followers on twitter and hearts on Instagram.
I wanted to be the person who would have the coolest house and cars.
To have fancy decorations in my house and perfect furnitures and Rolex watches, not just one but many.
Because let’s face it, that’s how you get respect.
And that’s how you’re cool.
By your looks, cars, mansions and by your gadgets and stuff.
And what you need for that?
You need money, bwoy.
So, I never asked if that’s what I really want to do with my life. I just set my highest goal as becoming ‘cool’ and decided that earning huge chunks of money is the only way to do that.
So that I can purchase emotions, ask respect and add a layer of pretension to my self and look cool.
4 months later, I laugh on myself.
But I really wanted this for my life a few month back, just so that I can look cool.
There are few things which changed the entire definition of cool for and I realized being cool is not really being cool.
1) I came across authentic people
I stumbled upon Minimalism and through that I came across to personalities who do none of the stuff I mentioned above. But they inspire beyond words.
These people have only one thing to them: they are authentic. They admit when they fail. They don’t pretend. And they’re perfectly happy with who they’re, with the flaws. Honest and genuine.
They live unconventional life.
And they really inspired me. And millions others.
And that’s when I asked myself, who is really cool?
2) I realized ‘coolness’ is based on perspective
Really. What is cool for me now was extremely uncool for me, few months back. It just took few months and change of perception. That’s it.
So there is no right or wrong about it. No objectivity. It is perspective based.
You can feel a small hut is cool or a big sprawling mansion is. Who knows?
So I urge you to not judge anyone. But I also urge you to not follow blindly what you think is cool based on other’s opinion.
Because it might turn out to be different.
That’s it in entirety.
3) Being cool doesn’t equate to being respected
If you respect me because of my clothes or gadgets or cars and other exterior stuff: likes on facebook and hearts on instagram and followers on twitter.
You respect the idea of me and not me.
I am not my stuff or things or something.
I am far much more.
And you don’t really care about that.
If that’s what you are ‘being cool’ for: not going to happen, mate.
4) Your people don’t give a fuck
Your real people- your real friends- don’t give a fuck about you being cool.
Really, I have people, my people and with them I do all sorts of stuff.
I send them crappy texts, I send them horrible voice-notes, I send them pictures of me with weird and ugly expressions.
And guess what? They are there. Because they know me from inside and they know who I really am and they respect that fact.
Hell, I might run around in jockey someday on the streets and they still will be there.
For them, it is about who you’re. Not your stuff, not what you do but who you’re.
5) You start losing your authentic self
I was never into parties. Not that it is inherently bad to go partying, I just don’t like it.
I was never into EDM sort of music. Again, not that it is inherently bad. It’s just that it is not my type of music.
Same with clothes and many gadgets.
But in the start, I used to pretend to like many such things anyway because I thought that’s what will make me look cool.
And I started to lose pretty much all who I really was in-order to be who I am not.
And that’s pretty terrible thing to happen. So avoid.
Be authentic to who you’re. Because trust me, that is all really that is cool about you.
I won’t lie. I still sometimes slip and go back in the trap. I do, I am all human and I am all mistakes.
But with the difference that I immediately get aware and snap out of it. I try at least.
The question is to not ask what other people think makes you cool. The question to ponder is what makes you cool.
So tell me now-
What makes you cool?
Other awesome reads-
1) The Tyranny of Cool– This awesome New York Times article.
2) Ending the Tyranny of Cool– The Minimalist
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