10 Choices You will not Regret.

minimalism, regrets, guilt, choices, Hardik Nagar, Minimalism and India, minimalist in India

Credits: Favim.com

I believe life is this whole sequence of choices one make.

Good choices, bad choices and few horrible choices, here and there.

And some choices end up having more impact than the others would have.

Regret is something we all go through. Perhaps in more than one way and about more than one choice. Apart from the horrible choices, there are also choices we are thankful for and choices that always leave you with a smile on your face.

Brew a coffee. Sit and relax because we’re going to go through all such choices that I believe none of us will ever regret:

  1. The Choice of Honesty: Being honest. Honest about how you feel, honest about what you feel, no sweet-coating, no sugary lies. Oh, it is difficult. People will hate you for it, will run away from you and will perhaps stop talking with you for you cannot praise them falsely. Yet, be honest, be honest to the point where your words become the word. Lying is a tiring process and drains much of your strength. Honesty is simple, difficult but simple.
  2. The Choice of Empathy and Compassion: Can I be completely honest with you? Everyone is terribly broken. Every single one of us. We have our fears, insecurities and demons to deal with. Honesty has down-effects of maybe converting you into an arrogant prick. This choice will keep that side-effect in check. You have your battles and they have theirs. And the only solution is to listen and participate in each other’s fight in whatever way we can, to ease the pain, to love.
  3. The Choice of Being Okay: It is all good to not settle for mediocrity, to aim for excellence. But you will be sad often for no apparent reason, you will fail, you will be broke and your heart will get broken umpteen number of times and most likely you won’t be okay, many times. Life is not all fairies, rainbows and unicorns and that’s how it is. So sometimes being okay with not being okay makes a crucial part of how we grow and what we become.
  4. The Choice of Letting Go: Can you let go? Let go of the things you can’t control, let go of the emotions that are bringing you down, let go of the relations that are not just working out and most importantly, to let go of people? On this choice, your happiness quotient depends. This is perhaps the most crucial choice of all. Think about it: What all are you willing to let go?
  5. The Choice of Acceptance: I love deep conversations and I do it often and with different people. You know the reason why most of them are not happy? They can’t accept things. Accept that the relation was not probably meant to be. Accept that the situation is horrible and you just can’t ignore it. Accept that you have made a mistake and take accountability of it. And most importantly, accept yourself as a person with the flaws, blemishes and ugliness.
  6. The Choice of Genuine Connections: Whatever connections you have, make them genuine. Have few, that is fine but have genuine connections. The lure of instant connect might seem appealing but eventually it will wore off and you will feel terrible. Aim for genuine connections, genuine and real connections. That’s the only real way of knowing people.
  7. The Choice of Humility and Curiousness: The amount of time we bullshit ourselves by making ourselves the center of the entire universe and thinking from that point of view is staggering. Humility is the key to growth and also the breeding ground for curiousness. Be curious, explore and be humble. And as soon as you feel you’re smartest person in the room, change the room.
  8. The Choice of Choosing:  Choose your own path. You’re different from others but similar at the same time. That’s one of the most beautiful as well as fucked up irony there is in this universe. For the same part, we have compassion and empathy but for the different part you must choose how you want to live your own life, in your own way and with words like success and happiness defined in your own context.
  9. The Choice of Less:  Choose less. Less complaining. Less drama. Less bullshit. Less materialism. Less superfluous stuff. Less pretension. Less everything. The power of less goes beyond what you and I can imagine. It is beautiful what it can do for you: physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Focus on less but superior. Less but efficient. Less but quality. Less but enough.
  10. The Choice of No Regret: There will be things in your life that may seem like a regret. But wear them like a scar or a badly knitted tattoo on your body, you will eventually make peace with it and in more ways than you can imagine it will make you who you have become. Dwelling on the past is boring. Each choice is a checkpoint and life is marathon so although, you don’t have to run or come first but each of the checkpoints matter if you want to finish it.

These are the 10 choices. 10 choices, I believe if we all choose, the world in totality will be such a beautiful place.

Have I mastered them all? No, not at all.

But I have chosen them and I will continue to work on them, make mistakes, learn, fall and then be what I have to be.

The key thing is to choose.

So choose.

Oh and while you’re at choosing, choose to fly.

20 Things I am glad I know before turning 20.

I’ll be turning 20 in a month or so.

And life till now has been beautiful even though chances are that I have not seen half of the things, life has to offer. It is still beautiful.

I have failed– a lot. I can’t even remember all the times, I have failed. In life, in organizations I work, in relationships– everywhere.

But all the failures left lessons. All the people who were in my life or are in my life, left a lesson. And it has been beautiful.

Probably, as a pre-birthday thing or as a new series named– “List It Down”, here are 20 things I am glad, I know before turning 20:

  1. Everyone won’t like you. And that’s OK. You’ll always have people who don’t like you. There will always be people who will apparently hate you. There will always be people who don’t even like standing near you.  For no rhyme or reason. And you know what? That’s OK. You can’t connect with everyone.  So let this go deep into your soul and agree with it. Not everyone will like you. And that’s OK.
  2. You’re not your job. Or degrees. Or your cars. Or your mansions. Or your stuff. You’re not these things.  You’re probably how you love and how you care. How you’re humble and how you treat people living in worse condition than you. You’re what you feel, what you think you feel and what you’ll feel. You’re how you behave when everyone is shouting. You’re all these. Keep this in mind. You’re your passion and how you live.
  3. You’ll go through unimaginable pain and trauma and you’ll think you’ll never come out of it. But guess what? You’ll and it’ll be OK. I know, I have had moments where I completely broke down, cried, shouted my lungs out and thought that I’ll never come out of it. But, I have. Yes, the scars are there. Yes, it still hurts sometime. But, it has made me stronger. And, I know more are yet to come. But, I know I’ll come out of it and all will be OK.
  4. The world outside is cruel and sick.  It is true. The economy is at all times low, the society structure is being desecrated, people are fighting and killing in names of so many things. Empathy is at all times low and egoism is what drives half of us. Accept it. You know why? Because ranting doesn’t solve issues. So go out and change things in however small way, you can. Trust yourself. You’re the hope, this world has. Don’t give up on it, as yet. Love more, trash less.
  5. Take responsibility of every action of yours. You’ll fuck up so many times, you’ve no idea. You’ll hurt others, you’ll impact lives negatively and you’ll have to make it straight. Accept it and work towards it. Also, you’ll impact lives positively and you’ll have to defend yourself so many times. No one else will do it for you. So, accept when you fuck up but don’t let anyone ride over you. Find the fucking balance.
  6. People will tell you’re a crazy loser and will do everything they can to bring you down. This will happen. Some people only remain by your side as far as, they feel comfortable. As soon as you do something they’re not comfortable with or you try to do something they never thought you’ll, they’ll call you crazy. They’ll call you fucked up. They’ll call you thousand other things. But if you believe yourself, if you know what you’re doing. Keep at it. Don’t listen to them. Weed them out.
  7. Forgiving and letting go are crucial, if you want to be at peace. Really forgive, move on and let go. Many people have done me wrong, I have cried because of them and my entire life got upside-down because of them. And, I have kept hating them. Seeking revenge and whatever. But it is worthless. And will destroy you. Nothing is as liberating and freeing as forgiving and letting go. And they don’t have to ask your forgiveness. Just give it to them. And fucking LET GO.
  8. Never fuck with people who genuinely love you. Really. Please don’t. You know who I am talking about. The people who are always beside you, your best friends, your family, your lover– whoever it maybe. Never and I say NEVER, fuck with those who genuinely care about you and your being. Be with them, support them and love them. They’re truly precious and one of a kind.
  9. Go easy on the need to get validated. It is very tempting, I know. I have been there. With all the social media tools available now, it has become easier than ever to get validation from people. Likes, hearts and mentions. Go easy on them. Never, ever give someone or something that much control that it can easily impact your mood. Remember if good comments make you jump, what will bad comments do to you? Go easy. It is good to get praised. But don’t over-do. Find a fucking balance.
  10. Go easy on the Ego and “I” syndrome. A lot was achieved before you and a lot will be achieved after you. So go slow on the egoistic and ‘Holier-Than-Thou’ attitude. Yes, you might be smarter than everyone. Yes, you might be witty and funny and Bill Gates. But it doesn’t matter. Be humble. You’ll learn more. You’ll appreciate more. And you won’t be a jerk.
  11. Never beat yourself up. Never. You might be in the thick of the world’s most fucked up problem, but never hate yourself. Or say, you’re not worth it or you deserved it. It is not other’s duty to love you, it is yours. So trust yourself. You’ll come out of the rut. You’ll be OK. But, never not for one second, hate yourself. That is the worst thing you can do to yourself.
  12. You’ll make mistakes. More mistakes than you think, you’ll and that’s good. If you’re not making mistakes, you’re stagnant and not moving froward. Make mistakes. Make more mistakes and accept each and learn from each of them. Really. Don’t be afraid of mistakes. I know, I was initially so afraid. Still am, somewhat. But it is absolutely gorgeous to witness the change in you after a mistake. Just remember the golden rule– Never, ever repeat the same mistake.
  13. People will talk. A lot. More about you than with you. So accept it and move on. Really. People talked when I left the course I was doing. People talked when I devoted my time to a voluntary organization and people again talked when I started this blog. So, it’s OK. Don’t fear their talks. Do what you want to, with love and passion. They’ll talk. So never fear what people will say. They have said a lot of things and they’ll say some more. Don’t let it stop, you. Go and be awesome.
  14. It’s OK to let some people go. There will be some people in your life and their thinking and your thinking will never match. They’ll always do the work of pulling you down, telling you how you suck and are good for nothing or you just can’t connect with them and feel negative. And, it is completely OK to let go of such people. Just let them go. Not with hate or revenge. With forgiveness and a feeling of moving on. It’s OK. Not everyone is meant to stay.
  15. Don’t fear change and let go of the need to control. In the initial phase of my life, I was always sad or irritated because things never went as I thought they would. And too much was changing too quickly. And, I tried resisting it. That was worthless. Change will happen, you want or no. And people will change and do as per their wish, not yours. You can just decide, how you’ll react to the change. Let go of this need. You’ll be happier. Much happier.
  16. Find what you love. Do what you love. Life is too short. I can’t stress on this one enough. Life is short, like really short. There is no point of doing something you detest. You’ll die with all the regrets of the world. And that’s not a very healthy process. I know, there are so many factors. But always be on search of something you love. Do it part-time, do it after office, do it before. But never let it go. Hold it tight. And follow it in whatever capacity. But do follow. And never stop searching.
  17. Be selfish but at the same time lookout for the people in need. People have either told me to be selfish or be completely devoted to community. I say don’t do either. Find a fucking balance. Be selfish. Learn new things, explore and put your happiness ahead because you can’t do anything for anyone until you’re happy yourself. But lookout for the needy, the community problems– Poverty, education, hunger. And do something for them in whatever capacity. You’ll feel fulfilled. I promise.
  18. Learn to Listen. That’s the single-most crucial and best quality to have.  And when I say, listen. I mean really listen, not with the intention to reply, not with the context to what it means to you. But just listen, with the intent to listen.  This will mean considering everyone as equal, everyone as only one thing, without judgement– Humans. Learn to listen to others. Learn to listen to yourself. Empathy cannot exist without that. That deep listening skills. To feel every word. That type of listening.
  19. Always be curious enough and willing enough to learn. And never stop. There are so many things we don’t know. And chances are there will always remain things, we’ll never know. But be curious and willing to learn new things. Be willing to make a difference. Be willing to take on new adventures and see life as it really. That is what will keep you going. And probably, that is how wisdom comes into being. Be willing to love. Be willing to learn.
  20. You are fucking awesome and you are valuable in yourself. Don’t let anyone say otherwise. There will be people in your life, who will make you question your value, your worth. And they’ll come, if they haven’t yet. At that time, always remember, your being human is valuable in itself. And whatever happens. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Ever.

That’s it, I guess.

What are some of the lessons you think should make a part of this list?

 

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Minimalism- 8 Things I realized in the past month.

“One thing: you have to walk, and create the way by your walking; you will not find a ready-made path. It is not so cheap, to reach to the ultimate realization of truth. You will have to create the path by walking yourself; the path is not ready-made, lying there and waiting for you. It is just like the sky: the birds fly, but they don’t leave any footprints. You cannot follow them; there are no footprints left behind.”
― Osho

Revelations.

It has been few days past a month since this blog came into existence.

That means over a month of following Minimalism. Over a month of buying consciously. Over a month of focusing on things I love. Over a month of eliminating the superfluous. Over a month of focusing on being a better person.

Over a month of living: real, hard and consciously.

Here are the things, I learnt in this past over 1 month of this blog and following minimalism:

  • Life beyond the Auto Pilot Mode:
    If there is one thing I absolutely adore about this lifestyle is that it helped me to live more consciously. To question every decision I take. To question why I think the way I do. To not do things just because.To live beyond that “Just Because it happens this way” I rejected that lifestyle.Probably you should also try?

    It is hard but so worth it. You see the truth behind everything. And more importantly, you start to know your true self. Till the time, I was living on Auto-Pilot mode. I was doing things which other felt like I should do ideally. Or the things which society thinks, I should do ideally.Break off the “ideally”. Do something because you want to. Do something because you feel like. Question everything that is to question. And decide everything on your own.

    Take control, mate. Remember it is your life?

     

  • Things that has happened, is happening or will happen is something that you’ve chosen:
    You’re what you’re because of choices you made. You’re what you were because of the choices you made. You will be what you will be because of the choices you will make. Life is a choice.Sure there are external factors and sure they affect but in the end all that matters and all that has a major impact is how you react to those external forces. That will define your life. That will define you. Nothing else. That. The choice you make.The things you choose. The emotions you choose. The people you choose. The situations you choose to react on. Choice.

    Do you comprehend? Realize it and realize it now. Your life is a choice. Big fucking choice. Choose carefully.

  • No longer trying to buy emotions:
    If there is one lesson which completely shocked me was this.I was in a no buying phase. This whole January, I kept my purchase only in the essentials. And in that too, I questioned everything I bought.Once you start questioning your purchase. Everything on which you spend money. Everything which you buy. Everything which you wish to buy. Everything.Once I did that, I realized something drastic and shattering.I used to try to purchase emotions and feelings.I didn’t want to buy or rent things. I wanted to buy and rent emotions and feelings. I wanted to buy security, comfort, approval. I wanted to buy joy. I wanted to buy satisfaction. I wanted to buy happiness. Unfortunately, they are not available for sale or rent.

    I stopped doing that. Now, I just buy things as tool. Not as a source of happiness and approval. So, I need less. I want less. And yet, ironically, I feel fuller than ever before. Win-win, amigo.

  • The most important person is you:
    As narcissistic and clichéd it may sound, it is true. The most important person in your life is you. Your top priority should be you. Everything you do, you should be doing keeping in mind the effect it will have on you.Everything, every person, every relation is because of you. If you fall, they all fall.If you are not happy, there is no point to any of them.Being compassionate and loving towards your own self is possibly the most underrated skill. Develop it.Your rest of the life and everything you’ll be and you’ll do, depends on that single person which is YOU.
  • The Incomplete Circle of Relationships:
    I had a friend in 9th Standard. A close friend at that time and then we had a fall-out, as most high school friendships does. We had a spat. And it is only in this month I realized that somewhere that incomplete thing is bothering me.I have her yet in my mind. So, Imessaged her. I said sorry. My circle is complete.  And it feels great. Just complete your circles.With everyone. Either forgive or ask for forgiveness.

    Give a fucking closure to it. Give it.

    All the times when you say, ” I don’t what is bothering me” more often than not, it is these incomplete circles.

    Incomplete relations.

    Give them a closure.

    Do it.

    You’ll thank yourself later.

     

  • People will see you as you see yourself: They are mirrors:
    People’s opinion change as soon as you change your outlook towards yourself. It is a law of causation at work.If you change your opinions and your thinking and your outlook about yourself, people eventually will automatically start seeing you in that light.They will resist at first, asking you why are you changing. We’re genetically programmed to be reluctant to change.But in the end, they see you as you see yourself.

    They reflect on you. Mere reflection.

    Try that if you don’t believe. I have experienced it. I am sure, you’ll too.

  • Avoiding judgmental behavior is tough. But try. It is worth it:
    I soon realize that I judge people too much. Too often and without knowing much. It probably satiate my some kind of emotional need. I am yet to figure what.But I also realized that this kind of judgmental behavior is crucially wrong and not only to them but to myself.I am filling my head with lots of garbage. I am judging someone without even knowing what the person is going through which would mean that the premise and the base itself is flawed.

    Try not judging. It is difficult. But to an extent, possible. Instead try to understand why person is doing what they are doing. What is it that is forcing them to do that.

    Ask questions. You’ll do yourself a big favor.Don’t judge, my friend. At least try not to. Consciously. Love, mate.

  • I and my emotions are two separate things:
    I have a whole other post dedicated to this topic. Yes but in gist, I realized this thing. You and your emotions are not one. You’re not always angry or agitated or irritated or a complete arse.That would mean that these factors, these emotions are external to you.So that means, you’ve choice. You can choose. Embrace the positive and discard the negative.When anger comes, watch it, observe it and let it pass unprocessed and not judged. It will go away. Quicker than you think. So let it pass.

    Do remember. Emotions are a matter of choice. You choose whether to react or not.

    Decide wisely.

This journey, till now, has been real gorgeous. And you people are extremely brilliant. Thank you for supporting this blog and my views with so much love and support.

I have found some amazing content. Learnt brilliant things and made few friends. All in this one little month.

Again, thank you.

But this is just the beginning. This first month. There are many lessons to learn. And many things to realize.

Keep reading.

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Minimalism- 5 must know things about emotions.

“One thing you can’t hide – is when you’re crippled inside.” 
― John Lennon

Productivity Template

Productivity Template

Emotions.

They play such a major role in our life. Everything we do. Everything we did. Everything we will do.

All of these will be governed by this one word: Emotions.

Oh, it will impact your life. In a major manner. Now, then, forever.

That’s the bad part. 

The good part however is that you get to choose the impact, they’ll have.

Yes, you heard it right. Whatever you were fed, taught and made realized about emotions not being in your control and other such mystical things were wrong.

You’ve been misled in major ways.

Emotional wellness is crucial for a happy, content life.

Again, there is no point in cleaning your closet and desk, if you still are in an emotional turmoil. Sure, those things might help you de-clutter some of your thoughts. But they won’t eradicate the discontent and unhappiness completely.

Minimalism is all about choosing consciously. Everything. Physical, emotional and spiritual.

People have realized. People have learnt. That like majority or rather everything in your life the state of emotional wellness too is a matter of choice.

Yes, you heard it right.

Choice.

Like everything else, you will have to choose how you deal with your emotions. You’ve to choose what status you give them. And you’ve to choose which emotions impact you and which don’t.

Ahead lies 5 things, I have learnt. I have realized. About emotions. Over the years of exploration. Of life and of Minimalism.

These are hard to implement. I am still to implement themselves myself fully.

But again it is a journey. Even if you take one step, it still will bring you closer to destiny.

Similarly, even if you try to implement them in some manner, they’ll bring about change.

Change of good.

Change of contentment.

Change of happiness.

5 things you must know about Emotions- 

  • Choices and Reactions- 

    I can’t emphasis on this one enough. Choice. Emotions are a matter of choice.

    The emotions you choose to react on and the emotions you don’t. The emotions you choose to let affect you and emotions you don’t let affect yourself.

    Choice.

    If you feel any contrary, remind yourself of the countless times when you chose to not react to a particular emotion or when you did. Consciously.

    Emotions are not mystical phenomenon. They can be chosen. They’re your emotions in the end. Difficult to do but really a key and the first step.

    Choose happiness over sadness. Choose empathy over anger.

    Choose consciously.

    Just try it. You’ll see the difference.

  • Stop being judgmental

    Don’t judge your emotions. Don’t hate yourself for feeling the way you do.

    Sometimes, you cannot control them. You cannot. It is your sub-conscious mind at play.

    But you don’t need to feel guilty. Or beat yourself up for feeling the way you do.

    Instead, try to understand why you’re feeling this way. Why exactly?

    If you judge your own emotions, you’re creating too much guilt and stress and signs of depression. Don’t do that.

    Just understand why you are feeling the way you’re feeling. Then, you can work on it. Or not. But first, understand. Not judge. Understand.

  • Facing your emotions

    I used to run away from my emotions. It seems a viable and easy option for short-run. You might feel good also. But on the long run, it will kill you.

    Always remember- even if you ignore your emotions for a while. Or if you just run away. Your emotions doesn’t stop being. They are there lurking and multiplying. And one day at the right cue, they will burst. Gripping you like never before.

    Instead, face your emotions now. There is a reason for existence of every single of your emotion. Face them. Try to understand them. Try to find a solution for them.

    Do whatever. Just don’t run away. That is the worse thing you can do to yourself.

    They always come back. In one form or another. And always with a stronger force than previous time.

    Be kind to yourself, please. Don’t run. Face it.

  • Seeing Emotions as an External Force-

    This is more of a hack.

    Remember the last time you were extremely angry? You felt like killing someone with your mind raging and teeth biting. I am sure you do.

    Do you feel in the exact same way as of now? Probably not. Emotions will come and pass. Different emotions at different times.

    See them as external forces. You’re not always angry. You’re not always irritated. You’re not always feeling guilty. As a person, you’re not those emotions. Like your eyes and nose, they’re not always a part of you.

    So see them as external factors. That will help in two ways.

    One, when they do come, you can choose to react or not. Or how exactly they’ll affect. You know they will stay with you only as long as you wish to.

    So choose happiness. And stray away anger. And similar stuff.

    Two, you’ll realize that you and your emotions are two separate things.

    Observe them. Understand why they affect you. If they are good emotions, let them stay. If they are bad, strip them away.

    You’re never your emotions. They impact you. But only as much as you let them. No less, no more.

  • Take Control

    In the end, everything boils down to this. To take control. To live consciously. To not live on auto-pilot mode.

    Take control of your emotions. Don’t say to yourself and or others that you don’t have control over your emotions. That’s not good. Never good.

    All the times, you go into depression. You choose to do so. All the times, you cry and be angry and break things. You choose to do so. And if you feel you’re always sad or discontent or angry or irritated, realize that you’re choosing that.

    You’re choosing that over being happy and content. You’re choosing. You’re letting emotions- an external force, take control of your life.

    Snap out. Take control. Live consciously.

These are just some things.

5 things.

You may already know some. If you do, that’s great. Time to implement.

Or you’re hearing such bizarre, according to you, ideas for the first time. No, really. They are not. Give it a shot. Give it time and you’ll realize why. 1 month, to be precise.

Have 1 month for yourself, don’t you?

Again the key is to do. To do. Not just to take inspiration and sit.

Sitting time, with coffee and 8 minutes, ends now.

Time to change.

Go change your life. I dare you.

Let me know via comments, what you feel about emotions and emotional wellness?

*Part of the, The Minimalist Thursday Series